


Not-Die Well

by Es_Aitch



Series: Twelfth Doctor One Shots  Series 9 [12]
Category: Class (TV 2016), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8446849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: My typical “what happens after” fic. This is set after the Class episode “For Tonight We Might Die”.  Spoilers for that episode.





	

**Author's Note:**

> We don’t yet know when in the Doctor’s personal timeline this occurs, but in my headcanon, I’m setting it post-Darillium – at least until we have confirmation of when it’s happening.

The Doctor offered an almost manic grin to the little group assembled in the lobby. “Oh, come on! Cheer up! It’s not that hard.” He had just told them that Coal Hill School will be a time-beacon and he couldn’t always be around. Well, it was time to leave. He moved towards the TARDIS. “It’s no harder than all these exams you have to take these days.” He started to enter and then realised something, so he turned back around. “Except Media Studies. It’s going to be harder than that.”

The Doctor closed the door and flipped the rapid dematerialisation switch. He needed to get away from there. Needed to think. Still, it was good. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Torchwood, so he needed someone to defend the Earth when he couldn’t be around.

When he had rescued Charlie and Miss Quill on Rhodia, he hadn’t expected them to need him again on Earth so soon. Nor had he expected to be confronted with the whole idea of ‘dying well’. In the heat of the moment, he had been too focused on keeping everyone alive to worry about the connections his brain was making in the background, but now, it was starting to give him a headache. The voice of the TARDIS came to him. “ _You didn’t expect them to call? Then why did you give them your number?_ ”

The Doctor gasped as a memory came to him. “ _Who said you could give out my number?_ ” It was his voice, but to whom was he talking? He closed his eyes and tried to make the person fit into the shape. He kept his eyes closed until that waitress from the TARDIS-Diner was superimposed on the hole in this memory.

When he felt like he could open his eyes again, he went to sit in his thinking chair. He was safe in the Vortex, so he didn’t worry about being away from the controls. He sighed heavily as he sat down. Another memory came to him. “ _If Danny Pink can do it, so can I…. Die right. Die like I mean it. Face the raven_.”

He had seen the name… A name he should know. Well, two names he knew. “Pink, R. D.” and “Oswald, C.” They were closely linked. He should know how. But it was that blasted hole he kept encountering. Her name was on the memorial wall, which meant she was presumed dead. She hadn’t returned here, then. Probably for the best, considering the timelines. But where did that leave him and his memories?

When he had found the Diner, he hadn’t recognised her, but he knew it had to be Clara. He’s a Time Lord; he knows when he’s inside of a TARDIS. Since he could remember Me, Clara was the only option. He knew it was going to be his only chance to say goodbye to Clara when they weren’t in a panic. But he didn’t know how to tell her how much he knew. He tried. He thought if he told her the entire story, it would be enough. He hoped she would realise just how much he had pieced together. She didn’t, so he had to keep acting like he didn’t have a clue what was happening around him. And she had to keep pretending that she didn’t know him.

Pretending. Being impossible. Pretty much summed them up, he supposed. Lying to each other. They were good at that, if the TARDIS records were to be believed. Lying. He was good at that on his own. Maybe he was too good at it. River missed all of his clues too.

He sighed heavily. _River_. He missed her. There wasn’t anything he could do. The timelines had been established billions of years ago for him. He had already made too many mistakes recently: Ashildr and Clara. Hell, he was lucky that saving Gallifrey hadn’t destroyed the Universe. He wasn’t sure what the universe would do if he tried to save River.

He tried not to feel too sad. They had twenty-four years together. Twenty-four years of the slow-path. Filled with love, adventure, and _them_. It was enough.

Still, that was why he was on the current path, wasn’t it? He was saving random people because he had gotten rusty. “ _Liar_.”

Well, that was what the TARDIS always did, wasn’t it? She kept him honest. “Not lying.”

“ _Not the truth either_.”

He grumbled. She was right. He was doing this because during the years on Darillium, he had discovered just how deep his love for River ran. And now that he didn’t have her, he felt an emptiness he hadn’t felt since he originally ran from Gallifrey.

“It’s easier to be a sunset.”

The lights dimmed slightly and flickered. She knew what he was talking about. “ _My dear Pilot, you are not the stars, or a sunset, or a monolith. You are the Doctor. You are the man who is never cruel or cowardly. Who never gives up and never gives in. And if you ever are any of those, you always make amends. But, sometimes I think you need to remember that your promise was to yourself as well._ ”

It was a bit unfair for her to use his promise against him like that, but she was right. Of course she was. He stood and walked over to the chalkboard. He smiled softly as he read the words still written there:

RUN  
YOU CLEVER BOY

 

AND BE A DOCTOR

 


End file.
